“Okay, is this thing on? Hang on a second... All systems go, so here goes nothing. Not like there's going to be anybody hearing this.”
I don't really know where to start, except at the beginning. Has it really only been seven months? Seems like seven years. I haven't been outside in four months. Too dangerous. Too much chance of getting one hell of a sunburn. Which reminds me, after I've recorded this I need to check the windows. Last month I forgot to put new cooling foil on the kitchen windows and my fucking fridge melted. Smell lasted for weeks. And I'm running low on MREs.
Anyway. I'm not much of a scientist-I barely made it out of high school-but I'll do my best to explain what happened in layman's terms.
We got closer to the sun, and everything went to shit. I don't exactly know the details as to how, but one day we woke up to what meteorologists called a 'warming trend.' Big deal, right? What with global warming and all, the Earth's been getting warmer for decades.
Well, it was a big deal. It didn't just get warm. It got roasting. Stories started circulating about people spontaneously combusting. At first, the stories were dismissed as tabloid fodder. But when the stories started appearing on CNN in full glorious color, people started believing. And when everyone witnessed the President and First Lady turned into human charcoal on live TV, pandemonium reigned supreme.
I never much liked people, but I gotta tell you, seeing my neighbors turn into crisped treats was pretty damn scary. I tried to get in touch with my folks, but to no avail. I'm almost positive they're well-done by now. Well, it ain't like we got along great to begin with.
I retreated to my cabin and insulated it as best as I could. It's freezing in here, thanks to an enormous AC I've got. It's hell on the generator, though. I also added some tint to the windows, since there's no such thing as night anymore, and I need my sleep. There was a really bad thunderstorm yesterday, and...
Hang on....FUCK! The hell? Oh dear God no....
THE WINDOW IS BROKEN!"